My Cancer Story

a story of resilience and love

In October 2022 on a Thursday I had a colonoscopy due to having blood in my stool for 6 months prior. I am sorry for the TMI but I figure this could save someone else’s life. If you have had any change in bowel habits it is best to get checked out.

I remember being really high on whatever they gave me to knock me out for the procedure. I was laughing my head off and having a great time but all of the nurses were very serious, none of them laughed with me. Which I thought to be very strange.

Not until that night when I looked down at my arm did I realize they had also taken bloodwork. I looked at my sheet of paper which said “large polyp found, follow up in 2 weeks”. As a nurse myself this didn’t seem right. Normally they would remove the polyps during the colonoscopy. So in the back of my mind I felt a twinge of something sinister.

On Monday (3 days later) I received a call from the hospital who wanted me in for a ct scan the next day. Once I hung up the phone I broke down in tears. I knew in that moment they were looking for cancer. Why else would things move so quickly? (in case you didn’t know our health care in Canada moves slowly)

I remember bawling my eyes out to my husband Alex and saying “why me!? WTF!? I am only 30!! This can’t be happening!’

I called the surgeons office because at this time no one had contacted me with information. The receptionist said maybe the doctor didn’t get a great look at your bowel and wants to see more on the ct scan.

I agreed to appease my family and ease their stress but I knew, I knew that if they were scanning anything else other than my bowel that I had cancer.

I pondered what my son would do without a mother to raise him while I sat in the waiting room for my ct scan. When I saw the technician I asked right away “what are you scanning?”

she said “chest, abdomen and pelvis."

the words I dreaded.

I held it together for the scan and called my mom on the 30 min drive home. I remember her crying with me as I pleaded to know why? why me? why did the universe pick me?

Since my colonoscopy 4 days prior I stayed up every night thinking about my family and what they would do without me. I thought about my son the most. At that time he was only 1 year old, he was my world and I his. I was never religious but those nights I prayed. Prayed that my son would be taken care of. That my husband would find another wife that would love Sebastian and care for him as much as I did.

On Wednesday I went to see the surgeon. He said the words I knew were looming over my head.

“Elizabeth, you have cancer. I am so sorry”

Together we looked at the results of the ct scan.

It had not spread anywhere else! this meant I could beat this!!

Within two weeks I was in for surgery to remove the cancer.

On Nov 7, 2022 I had a tumour the size of a baseball removed from my colon. The surgeon told me I was a walking miracle. This tumour must have been growing for 5 years at least to get to this size. It had almost blocked my bowel.

He also removed 54 lymph nodes and 8 of which I would later find out were cancerous.

That day was one of the best days of my life. The day I faced death and said “I am not ready to die.”

I was told I had to do chemotherapy for at least 6 months due to how aggressive the cancer was. The oncologist told me I was the severe end of stage 3. I was weeks away from dying if I did not have surgery when I did.

It left me with more questions of “why me? why was I saved? do I have a purpose in life?”

But for the following 7 months I focused on surviving.

Chemo was hard on my body. I describe it as having the worst flu every two weeks for 7 months. Each round I would have a week to recover. During that time I would live my life however I wanted. I still hiked, I spent quality time with my family and I laughed a lot.

Often times I had people say “you don’t even look like you have cancer.”

It really invalidated how I felt because I was suffering but it took all of the energy in me to feel and look normal whenever I could.

But that’s what helped me beat cancer. I didn’t let it consume me. I wasn’t going to let chemotherapy take my life away. I was going to live whenever I could despite everyone telling me to rest.

I was on 3 different chemotherapies. I would go to the hospital for an infusion every two weeks and then I would be hooked up to an at home chemo for 48 hours. With these intense drugs came intense side effects.

• neuropathy in my hands and feet

• cold sensitivity (I couldn't drink cold liquids or it would feel like glass shards in my throat so I warmed my water for a week after my infusion)

• dehydration (nausea and cold sensitivity made it hard to hydrate)

• hair loss (I was lucky and held on to 1/3 of my hair)

• my lips would go numb if I went outside in the cold

• I was allergic to one of the chemos so I ended up in anaphylaxis during an infusion. from then on every time I had chemo I would have to take rescue meds (a high dose of steroids, iv Benadryl and an antihistamine)

• I had to take a med to put me in menopause to protect my ovaries from the chemo. so I had hot flashes, mood swings, etc

• I went from being on zero meds to 12 meds per day. I hated that feeling so much as each med brought their own side effects

Over those 7 months I focused on myself. I really went inwards as I had a new lease on life. When you face death it changes how you feel about death.

I stopped fearing it. I had a knowing that everything would be okay if I did die. I started to think “what if death isn’t really death? Maybe it is a doorway to another part in our journey as a soul?”

I did some soul searching and started to question who I was and what I was on this planet to do.

I stopped asking “why me?” and started asking “why not me?”

In July 2023 I rang the bell at my last chemotherapy infusion. What an amazing feeling, one most people I met at the cancer centre couldn’t wait to have or longed to have if they were terminal.

I had a new appreciation for how precious life was. We are here on this planet to live. To have a physical experience.

So I said to myself

‘LETS GOOOOO!!!!!”

that’s when I started checking off bucket list items.

Two weeks after chemo Alex took me skydiving as a gift for beating cancer! I couldn’t think of a better way to say “eff you cancer! You didn’t take me down!”

Throughout my journey I shared my experience with my friends on social media. They followed along with my deep thoughts and my story. I had many people message me privately to tell me how I inspired them. They would say how sometimes they were faced with a difficult thing and they would think to themselves “what would Elizabeth do?”

That’s when I started to realize maybe my purpose is to teach others, to inspire them to live and appreciate what we have. even the trials and tribulations. Appreciate it all!

When I think back to that day I was diagnosed with cancer, I thought my life was ending. little did I know It was just beginning.

I am so grateful for getting cancer. It propelled me into a new way of thinking. I appreciate what I have and try to focus on the positive of every situation.

I learned that we have no control over what happens to us. That is when surrender happens. once you surrender to what will be, abundance will follow. Despite the hard times we all will go through in our lives, each time makes us stronger, each thing prepares us for another tribulation down the road.

Cancer made me a warrior. Not because I beat cancer but because I am strong, I am passionate and I will fight to be a light that touches this world wherever I go.

So in closing, I hope as you read this blog that it inspires you to look inward at your own life, what can you change to see life in a different way?

The most important moment is now, not the future, not the past. Right now as you read this blog.

Be in the moment.

It is a gift, that is why it’s called the present.

As always,

love and light my friends

Elizabeth