a story of resilience and love
Barron Canyon, Algonquin Provincial Park
In October 2022 on a Thursday I had a colonoscopy due to having blood in my stool for 6 months prior. I am sorry for the TMI but I figure this could save someone else’s life. If you have had any change in bowel habits it is best to get checked out.
I remember being really high on whatever they gave me to knock me out for the procedure. I was laughing my head off and having a great time but all of the nurses were very serious, none of them laughed with me. Which I thought to be very strange.
Not until that night when I looked down at my arm did I realize they had also taken bloodwork. I looked at my sheet of paper which said “large polyp found, follow up in 2 weeks”. As a nurse myself this didn’t seem right. Normally they would remove the polyps during the colonoscopy. So in the back of my mind I felt a twinge of something sinister.
my husband, 1 year old son and I
On Monday (3 days later) I received a call from the hospital who wanted me in for a ct scan the next day. Once I hung up the phone I broke down in tears. I knew in that moment they were looking for cancer. Why else would things move so quickly? (in case you didn’t know our health care in Canada moves slowly)
I remember bawling my eyes out to my husband Alex and saying “why me!? WTF!? I am only 30!! This can’t be happening!’
I called the surgeons office because at this time no one had contacted me with information. The receptionist said maybe the doctor didn’t get a great look at your bowel and wants to see more on the ct scan.
I agreed to appease my family and ease their stress but I knew, I knew that if they were scanning anything else other than my bowel that I had cancer.
I pondered what my son would do without a mother to raise him while I sat in the waiting room for my ct scan. When I saw the technician I asked right away “what are you scanning?”
she said “chest, abdomen and pelvis."
the words I dreaded.
I held it together for the scan and called my mom on the 30 min drive home. I remember her crying with me as I pleaded to know why? why me? why did the universe pick me?
